Raising Children Who Think for Themselves is the proud recipient of the Spring 2002 Parents' Choice Recommended Non-Fiction book for readers aged 18+! We thank everyone for their support!

Here is a book written with humor, kindness, and good sense for parents of children of all ages. Elisa Medhus clearly describes parenting situations and offers practical strategies as though she were right there with us in our kitchen, family room, or car. As she describes, for example, a power struggle with our teens picking up their clothes, we wonder, ‘How did she know?’ She shows us how to provide living models for our children as they learn to think for themselves. Rich stories and examples from her own parenting experiences and those of her patients make Medhus’ book a comprehensive guide for teaching children to become honest, intuitive, and independent thinkers, using not only their heads but their hearts.

Jeanne Elium, co-author of Raising a Son and Raising a Daughter

A must-read for any parent who wants their children to depend , not on social dogma, but on their own thoughts and values, to become moral, self-confident and independent.

Jane Nelsen, Ed.D, author of Parents Who Love Too Much

Elisa Medhus helps us truly understand why it is so important for children to be self-inspired, and to think for themselves. What a different world we would have if all parents read this important book and follow the advice that Medhus so clearly gives us.

Myrna B. Shure, PhD, author of Raising a Thinking Preteen

If you’re like most parents, you don’t want your children to live with you forever. You do, however, want your “kids” to be capable of competent self-direction after they’re gone from your home. You can’t babysit them forever! Raising Children Who Think for Themselves provides plenty of sensible, down-to-earth advice for parents. This book tells parents what to do now so Mom and Dad can relax later when their youngsters are off on their own. A goldmine of suggestions and guidance. 

Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D, author of 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12

The problems that seem pervasive among youth today, from mindless consumerism and premature sex to school shootings and drug abuse, have raised an uproar on all sides, and the blame for these ills gets bounced around like a ping-pong ball--TV, video games, lack of religion, rap music, and on and on. But Dr. Medhus, after hundreds of interviews with children from all kinds of backgrounds, reaches the conclusion that the problems really all spring from a common source: personalities that react to outside forces rather than their own beliefs and morals. Laying out the difference between "externally directed" people, who act according to impulses, peer pressure, and fear of punishment, and "self-directed" people, who have been taught to think for themselves and follow their own consciences, she goes on to share parenting methods intended to encourage the introspection, empathy, and high self-esteem that give self-directed children their ability to resist negative influences. The author discusses specific techniques for handling many kinds of situations, with rules and disciplinary measures that help kids understand why bad behavior is wrong, instead of shaming or scaring them into blind submission. Indispensable advice for parents seeking to inspire their kids to self-confidence, adventurousness, independence, competence, and the ability to make positive contributions to the world. -- MZ Napra Review www.napra.com 

Amazon.com Reviews:

A must read for parents of all ages, July 22, 2001
Reviewer: Mira Norcros from St. Croix Falls, WI United States
Wow, what a great read! Dr. Medhus highlights some seemingly "easy", yet truly profound ways that all parents, no matter what stage they are at, can use to improve their interactions with their children. I am a mother of two, and try daily to have a positive impact on my girls lives. Reading this pointed out to me many venues where by simply shifting my paradigm slightly, I can more effectively be the parent that I strive to be. Thank you Dr. Medhus for sharing your knowledge with parents everywhere. You certainly have touched our lives.


Provides parents with a new approach to directing children, July 4, 2001
Reviewer: Midwest Book Review (see more about me) from Oregon, WI USA
Raising Children Who Think For Themselves provides parents with a new approach to directing children, covering the methods which foster independent thinking. Chapters point out differences between children who are externally directed to make decisions and those who are self-directed and use reasoning powers, providing plenty of examples on how parents can foster the latter.


Planned Obsolescence: Every Good Parent's Goal, June 4, 2001
Reviewer: MT Hannigan (see more about me) from Topanga, CA United States
THIS BOOK IS A MUST-HAVE if you want your child to be independent, confident, responsible and able to make sound decisions without your constant hovering. If you read and incorporate its advice into your life, by the time your children reach adulthood, you will have done your job as a parent well. The author gives more practical suggestions for real-life situations than I've ever seen in any book on child-rearing, and is particularly helpful for those of us with children about to enter or in middle school/jr. high school. Dr. Medhus also explains how parents can encourage even younger children to be self-directed, so that many problems associated with adolescence can be avoided. If every parent can raise ONE self-directed child, the world will be a better place for us all.


Good for the whole family, May 31, 2001
Reviewer: William D. Bergstrom (see more about me) from Devils Lake, ND USA
I am the Grandmother of a wonderful (and willful) two year old who had her Mother baffled until she read this wonderful book. Upon reading the book our daughter began applying the techniques. Bother Mother and Daughter are happier (Daddy too). My husband and I have read the book and believe it will improve our Grandparenting skills as well. The techniques Dr. Medhus prescribes are practical. The practices set forth in this book are much like those we used as we raised our son and daughter (who very definitely think for themselves). Dr. Medhus skillfully, and with charm, articulates age-old truths in modern day language. I highly recommend this book for Parents and Grandparents alike.


THE MOST REVOLUTIONARY BOOK ON RAISING CHILDREN-YET-, May 30, 2001
Reviewer: A reader from usa
What can I say,except this is probably the most important parenting book ever. My family seems happier and more harmonious, the techniques are easier, and even when I mess up from time to time, it works well. Heck, I think it's helping me think for myself, too!! Given the way it's changed our lives, I'd pay one hundred times the price. Oprah oughta nab this one!


Amazing, Witty, a Dazzling Hilarious Guide to raising kids, February 6, 2001
Reviewer: Anonymous
Having connections, I can safely say that this book will be a bestseller--without a doubt. It cleverly weaves a serious matter (life-changing) with a humorous, informal, easy-to-read style that appeals to parents (and parents-to-be) across the spectrum. As the title states, it is a guide on how to raise an internally-directed child. But what IS an internally-directed child? For example: An externally directed child would be the kid who is so self-conscious he is too afraid to pipe up in class and is deathly afraid of participation or (the most-feared) PRESENTATIONS. HOWEVER, an internally-directed child is not concerned with what others think, meaning they do not LIVE to please/annoy others, and therefore have more self-confidence and less self CONSCIOUSness when it comes to limiting their abilities. An externally directed child would let one small thing ruin their day, and an internally directed kid would devise a way to solve it, mend it, and move on. An externally directed child would fight over the front seat, but an internally directed child would not have such a fickle mentality, and would fight for things that are TRULY important in life. Containing dialogue from interviewed children, and a handy index for quick solutions to external problems, this informative, easy to read book is a must-have for parents. I would give it 10 stars if I could, but I guess 5 stars will just have to do.

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